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Just checking in

Sep. 30th, 2013 | 11:05 am

I just wanted to make an entry to check in with my friends.  I had a very lovely summer and I'm looking forward to getting back into work this fall.  Though I still have a few panic attack symptoms now and then, they are much better now I'm taking anti-anxiety medication.

Btw, I have Facebook but don't use it much, except for things related to my soap opera for the most part.  But if you have a FB page, let me know and I'll make a friend request to you.  Just tell me what it's called here.  I also have twitter but rarely use that.  I never tweet, I just use it again for my soap opera fandom (The Bold and the Beautiful).

I've been busy with housework and selling some things on eBay.  If I didn't get a job soon, it's not like I wouldn't have anything to do, there's so much to be done at home!  And I have three cats to take care of, in addition to Sasuke and Snowbell, we got a new cat named Cassidy, another boy, who is about 1-2 years old.  He's quite the handful because he likes to torment the other cats.  I also have 5 fish, all Tetras, my poor guppies all died.  And I have a couple of snails in the tank, they help keep it clean.

Well I just turned 38 the other day.  This is the year I'm making the baby plans for sure!  I'm not sure yet if I'm going to just do some egg freezing or do an artificial insemination as well, but I definitely want eggs on reserve in case I'd meet someone and we'd want children together, or even if I'd like more than one (which I really would) or would need more children, if God forbid something went wrong with the first one.

But if I do choose to do IUI, I'll be going to NY to do it as they have a gender selection place there.  I'm going to try for a girl as I think it would be easier for me to raise as a single mom, though the IUI isn't as guaranteed to get the gender you want as IVF, but that is much more costly.  So we'll see.  But I'm definitely planning to do this and I'm excited!  I just hope it will all work out.  Being a mother is what I want more than anything.

My sister is still upset about what that man did to her but we're praying she'll get better and in some ways she is.

I hope everyone's doing well and I hope you have a great Fall!

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Super Bowl Champions!!!!!!!

Feb. 4th, 2013 | 03:43 pm

We're Super Bowl Champions, hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you got to see it Cecelia! Wasn't it crazy and nerve-wracking? I couldn't even finish it because when the 49ers started getting good after the power outage, I was just too pissed.:D So I went to bed in disgust, and then I started hearing all these loud noises outside. Dare I hope it was fireworks? I wouldn't, but I did get out of bed to go to the bathroom, and I kept hearing those noises and I put the t.v. on and I just couldn't believe it, we won! I felt like I was dreaming.:D

Oh, man, it was so exciting! I've never been into football but this year I've been getting into it, and these last three games we've had have just been great. Heck, they could make a movie out of our experience. We were the underdogs against Denver, the underdogs against New England, and the underdogs against San Fransisco, and we did it!!!!!!!!!! Even despite the power outage that swung things back into SF's favor. Wow.

Football is so fun, and we here in Baltimore really love our team. Thanks Ravens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(And now I heard a rumor that my soap might be putting my heroine back with the guy I've been wishing and wishing for her to get back with. I'm happy today.:) )

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My mom is gone

Aug. 30th, 2008 | 10:54 am
location: Hell on Earth
mood: crushed crushed

I'm sorry to have to tell this.

My mom passed on early this morning.  She had been having trouble breathing whenever she would get up for anything, and then she'd get all right.  But about 12 a.m. she woke up unable to breathe and saying she was dying.  Dad called 911 and I went in with her to keep telling her it was gonna be okay, help was on the way.  Her arm was cold and I didn't like that.  And she said to me, "It's too late".

So the medics got there pretty fast but I heard them say "her eyes are rolled back in her head" and they worked on her for a long time.  I went outside and hid in the back yard.  They took her to the hospital but I knew in my heart she couldn't be saved.

I got a call from some grief counselor type person who said "I'm here with your niece and father.  Someone can pick you up to come be with them."  Well of course I knew what happened.  I said "No.  I can't come.  I'm very upset.  I'm sorry."

Anyway, my cousin and aunt and my second cousins and uncle and cousin's husband all came to see us.  They're very lovely people and strong Christians.  Of course none of it really helps right now.

I've had a strange reaction to all this.  I've cried and then other times, I'm complete emotionless and utter steel.  People say I'm strong but it's not strong.  It's a lot of things.  It's anger, frustration, confusion, denial.

My mom was my best friend, you have to understand.  I haven't had a real life friend in a long time since I got out of school.  And I was home with mom a lot, we went shopping together, talked about our soaps together.  I took care of her yesterday, planned to today.

Mom was always so good to us, she made sure we got what we wanted and always tried to do nice things for people.

Btw, she was only 65.  I thought she was looking better honestly.

And poor dad is devastated and blaming himself because he didn't drive her to the doctor that day.  Not that she had an accident on the way home or to there, it was on the way to our local Kmart to buy wipes on sale.

It's the fault of the doctors and hospital, they threw her out even though we have insurance and they didn't take her breathing problem seriously.  They killed her, and by God they're not going to get away with it.  They took my mom, my sister's mom, my dad's wife, my niece's grandmother, and a best friend from many, and they will be brought to justice if I have anything to do with it.

Mom had a lot of problems from her teen years on.  Insecurity, falling in love with a boy that her parents didn't approve of, my sister's bad marriage, which she blamed herself for because she pushed Paul on my sister a bit, to keep neighbor's from picking on my sister for being shy and reclusive.

Anyway, so, my life is forever changed in a bad way.  I don't know if I'll ever really be right.  None of us will.

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Advice/Question about virus protection

Nov. 27th, 2007 | 06:06 pm

My Norton anti-virus and Spysweeper have both expired.

So now I need to renew.

Now, should I get Norton and Spysweeper again, or just get Norton, or get Spysweeper including their virus protection.

Recommendations, please.

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Still having computer problems

Jul. 4th, 2006 | 05:45 pm
mood: annoyed annoyed

I'm still having a lot of trouble with the computer, despite what they said at the store it's still saying low battery, so something is wrong. I believe there's a virus despite what the guy at the store said, because my niece who is pretty tech. savvy said a virus can cause a computer to do anything odd.

The printer is not right either, it's not printing anything and claiming that ink has been used.

So I don't plan to be online much until this problem is fixed, as it could crap out at any time.

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